Editor: F Lennier. BA (hons) (Mrs)
The Harbinger Newsletter
12 February (dictated onto voicemail)
I am writing to you as the newly appointed executive spokesperson of the Tilebury Green Party. Please be aware that today the Tilebury Greens (not affiliated to the national Green Party but supporting and sharing their societal platform) held our inaugural convention to identify our shared plan for bringing a more ecologically and socially aware and fair, democratically mandated alternative for the benefit of all inhabitants of Tilebury, human and other.
We will shortly be spreading our manifesto in open air dialogues and person to person interactions throughout the town and in particular on bio-degradeable soap-boxes in Market Square. We will not be printing any literature as this is against our sustainable objectives, however we are eager to explain our policies to all so please do approach us.
In short I should like you to understand that we stand for equality, fairness, progressive attitudes, social goals, feminism, masculinism, veganism, the NHS, tolerance, the redistribution of excess wealth, common ownership of key societal assets and local determinism. For clarity - my position is merely as a single mouthpiece as we have resolved to function without formal leadership.
I trust in the interests of political balance you will make the formation of this important politically valid party known to the residents of Tilebury.
(appointed executive spokesperson of the Tilebury Green Party (not affiliated to the national Green Party but supporting and sharing their societal platform)).
The Editor, Tilebury 'Harbinger'
16 February (by electronic mail)
I refer to my previous two (2) epistles. It is clear to me that you are receiving these letters by email as you regularly publish them (for which, thank you). However, it is less clear to me that you are reading them.
Nor, might I add, is it clear to me that proper notice is being taken of the notices I have provided to your Events desk of forthcoming meetings of the village integration and charitable purposes committee. I note in passing that you have also not responded to my offer to write a regular column on this point, which would obviate the need for inclusion in the 'Events' section.
I do not wish to suggest to my neice that family ties require at least her consideration of the notices I send her, however I would suggest to you as Editor that professional management requires that you instruct her to do so. Perhaps I can look forward this month to reading of the charitable events planned for March in the Events diary where they properly belong?
I have assured you twice now of my continuing support. Once given, that support is not easily withdrawn. I am a woman of my word. However, the frequently licentious (and on occasions crude) content of some of the 'Harbinger' has left me agog, yes agog, at how little notice you appear to take of your readers' interests. It appears clear to me that you require some tips on managing a newspaper, so after some thought I have concluded that the following may assist you:
- An editor must read every article before publishing. This is not just a matter of checking wayward grammar. The Editor must ensure that columnists are keeping 'to message'.
- Each column must be written by an expert (I refer you to the Countryfile entries) and must have a clear purpose. Equally important, each month's entry must match that purpose. For example, if the 'Events' section is entitled "what's going on" it must deal with the Village's future diary and not merely vacuous comments about past events.
- Finally, an editor must be fearless in declining material of the wrong sort. Purely personal and perjorative allegations should never reach the typesetter.
As ever, I remain happy to contribute a column or 'copy' as it is known, on a suitable subject should you wish to call on me. I also offer my services as a reviewer or censor pre-publication if that will take some of the burden off you, with which you are clearly not currently coping.
I look forward to a step-change in quality at the Harbinger.
(Chairperson of the village integration and charitable purposes committee)
21 February (by hand - manuscript has been transcribed as well as the editor was able)
remember blue moon this year july big season nightshades. If warm, very powerful, culd be poisons.
like Harbigger. thank you for publish my letter. I meant protect bairns from your god woman in the stone temple who is dangerous. But is wife-lover so maybe not so bad.
?Megan? [Editor's apology if this is incorrect]
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