Dear Aunt Ali,

I don't know what to do.

I am a solicitor who is being paid by a woman who wants to be editor of a village newspaper.

I want my client to have the best chance of getting the necessary votes from the contributors but, unfortunately, I can't seem to get their names right and have referred to the chair as a Chairman named Alison rather than a Chairwoman named Alia. I feel stupid.

Please advise.

Felicity Nutty

Don't worry, you will get through it.

I suspect you were given the wrong name by your client. Consequently you should not think of yourself as stupid and illiterate.

However, your client, who should know better having known the Chairwoman for her entire life, doesn't come out of this well. It begs the question of whether she really knows or cares about the contributors any more than my correspondent last month (Edwina Letterman) knew hers.

I am sure that the Chairwoman will act entirely fairly and neutrally, but this is fair warning to all concerned that she will want to see which of the candidates is actually going to understend the contributors and care about them the most before casting her vote.

Dear Aunt Ali,

I don't know what to do.

You helped me previously with my enquiry about how to approach someone in the village who I fancied from afar. However, I have now written a complaint to the Letters page about wanting to keep my affairs private because I want to keep my options open with another potential 'friend'.

I want to have it both ways.

Please advise.

Gorse Artywoman

Don't worry, you will get through it.

It seems to be time to grow up a bit, be fair and stop complaining. Everyone knows about your preferences and no-one cares. However, in this column I never like to see the nervous wringing of hands amongst potential lovers nor love-rats abusing the good intentions of others.

I counselled you to go out and make a demonstration - push the issue. It seems you did and now you have a different problem - you have two options and can't decide between them.

Choose. And stick with your choice. You may be artistic and bohemian but neither of your potential 'friends' is likely to think that way.